Safe Play Practices - If the submissive says stop, the play stops. Limits are never to be tested or pushed. Dominants must earn trust, not demand it. You earn trust by being trustworthy at all times. The only proper punishment is to ignore the erring submissive. Never leave the room while play is ongoing. Do not ever leave a submissive tied up in any fashion for longer than 45 minutes at one time. If you wish to try something new and different, discuss this with the submissive beforehand and give him time to consider it and decide whether to participate. Remember at at a word from him, all play stops and he is immediately released. There are those who disagree with these time limits, but I have found them to be most satisfactory. Using this timing means he can keep going for 4 to 5 hours at any one time. 45 minutes on and 15 to rest and rehydrate while chatting with his lady - does a man good.

D/s relationships are not always about whips and chains. There is another side, another element, to bdsm that is not often discussed; until now. Omitting the power play and the pathological opens bdsm to something much more delicate and sexually sublime. Be sensuous and enjoy the nuances of the relationship.

The dominant partner is inviting revelations, of desires and facets of their personality, from his/her submissive while promising to accept and cherish those revelations as a gift. This requires courage and trust from the submissive and care, consideration, and respect from the dominant. You may never demand anything from him - only invite. Never go farther than he has agreed to go. After all, there's no rush and there's always a next time.

What a submissive reveals includes vulnerabilities. An inconsiderate dominant can gravely harm a submissive by incorrectly exploiting those vulnerabilities. What the “soft” dominant is after as his/her goal, is the total revelation, acceptance, and integration of the submissive. By this I mean the submissive’s acceptance of him/herself as he/she is without pretence, guilt, or revulsion.

The “promise” of the dominant is one of “fulfillment” of those hidden desires of the submissive while satisfying the desires of the dominant. The pleasures and the benefits must be mutual. The D/s relationship should be based upon joy and exultation and not tarnished by disgust and guilty torment.

Subtlety, subtlety - seduce him into it.
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